I wasn't bribed... Honest.

I know what you’re thinking- go easy on the negativity, oh Infantile One. Sorry, can’t. You see I’m not exactly feeling the love today and unfortunately voting reform is about as intellectually stimulating as a beige room with beige furniture. Yet the left can’t make its mind up. The Socialist Workers Party says no, as does the Communist Party of Britain, Counterfire, the Alliance for Workers Liberty and much of the Labour left. The Communist Party of Great Britain, Workers Power, Socialist Resistance and the Communist Party of Great Britain – Marxist Leninist (tee hee) are calling for a yes vote, presumably because they like the idea of being further marginalised in electoral politics. Meanwhile, the Socialist Equality Party has declared that the “only vote worth registering on May 5 is for our candidates, Simon Walker in Walkley, Sheffield and Robert Skelton in Ardwick, Manchester.” So I guess that’s a ‘no’ then.

In all fairness, it’s not easy to oppose AV. It’s never easy to say wait a moment: I get that what we have now is totally rubbish but what you’re proposing is even worse. The UK’s voting system is not fair. Proponents of FPTP argue that it’s a case of one (wo)man, one vote. What they don’t mention is that some votes are worth more than others. In a marginal seat, your vote carries enough weight to potentially change who goes to Parliament. In a safe seat, you might as well not bother. Voters in constituencies like mine, Manchester Central, are left feeling disenfranchised. Here it’s Labour or nothing. Even worse, under FPTP a party can win a majority of votes, yet not be the majority in parliament. Heck, it can win a majority and not win a plurality (a majority of less than 50%). In the 2005 election, as many as 70% of votes cast were wasted votes in the sense that they had zero impact on the election outcome.

That’s FPTP. It’s dreadful, isn’t it? So why not just vote for AV? I mean it’s not as it compromise is a dirty word (don’t quote me on that. It actually is.) AV seeks to redistribute the votes of those of us who pick unpopular candidates amongst the less offensive candidates until – voila! – we have it: a candidate so utterly inoffensive, so mind-numbingly mediocre, so very dull, that more or less everyone is OK with the outcome and just about no one is truly happy.

Nobody likes a Tory, so obviously they’re going to lose under AV. The BNP will lose out too. Unfortunately, that’s not a reason to vote for AV. Anything the BNP loses, the far left loses also. As does everyone who isn’t into utterly inoffensive, mind-numbingly mediocre and very, very dull candidates. AVwon’t make MPs work harder for your vote; it’ll make them work harder to occupy the centre ground.

I don’t want AV. I want PR and this “miserable little compromise” isn’t that. It’s not even close. I don’t want to change the voting system and discover that the changes have been made and that’s it for another generation. So that’s why if I muster the enthusiasm to vote, it’s going to be a big NO.

“This is a politicians’ war: devoid of logic, with no clear objectives, and no foreseeable end-game. But it plays well with the press and the public, as Western governments appear decisive; and it opens the door to further and deeper Western control and manipulation of Middle Eastern politics.”

For a while, Respect politician Yvonne Ridley was singing from the same hymn sheet as the rest of her organisation. That is until she did a complete U-turn yesterday, declaring herself to have been “wrong, wrong, wrong”. Ridley, whose time with the Taliban prompted her conversion to Islam, is a new devotee of the doctrine of humanitarian intervention, pleased that the West has responded to the Libyan people’s “cries for help” and merely bemoaning the fact that Turkey has not joined in. How can one not be moved by Ridley’s tales of accepting thanks from grateful Libyans on behalf of the UK military? It’s like she flew the planes herself.

I shouldn’t laugh. After all, Ridley has made an informed decision, even seeking advice of spiritual leader Sheikh Mohammed Bosidra, who backs NATO’s actions.

Does Ridley also back Western intervention in Iran these days, or is she only for war with the nasty regimes she doesn’t take money from?

Galloway is a supporter of the Islamic Republic of Iran. When questioned at a recent public meeting, Galloway denied ever supporting President Ahmadinejad and even offered ￡1000 to anyone who could prove his support. However, while interviewing the Iranian President on his Press TV show, The Real Deal, last August Galloway stated that he requires “police protection in London from the Iranian opposition because of my support for your election campaign. I mention this so you know where I’m coming from.” In fact, while Iran’s 2009 election is widely accepted to have been rigged, Galloway has stated in his Daily Record blog that the electoral count “was awesome” and the million+ protesters took to the streets because “too MANY people were allowed to vote” (his emphasis).

The Iranian regime incarcerates, tortures and executes political opponents, including leftists, trades unionists and leaders of the radical students’ movement. It does the same to those found guilty of “war against god”, a charge levelled at political dissidents. Confessions are extracted under torture and duress and at times broadcast on state TV channels, including Press TV. Those found guilty of adultery and homosexuality can face the death penalty. Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani (called “the so-called stoning case” by Galloway on Press TV) was sentenced to death by stoning in a court speaking a language she didn’t speak herself. George Galloway denies that homosexuality is punishable by death in Iran. On The Wright Show, Galloway stated that “the papers seem to imply that you get executed in Iran for being gay. That’s not true.” He then inferred that the boyfriend of gay Iranian asylum seeker, Mehdi Kazemi, had been executed for “sex crimes” against young boys and not for being gay.

It’s unsurprising that Galloway publicly supports the Islamic Republic. He is an employee of Press TV, the Iranian state propaganda channel. While serving as a MP, Galloway was forced to declare his earnings from Press TV, which ranged from between￡5000 and￡20,000 for his various shows.

As pro-democracy protests engulf Syria, it’s worth remembering that Galloway has previously heaped praise upon the Syrian regime and authoritarian ruler, Bashar al-Assad. Addressing Damascus University in late 2005, Galloway said: “For me he is the last Arab ruler, and Syria is the last Arab country. It is the fortress of the remaining dignity of the Arabs”. Galloway has expressed approval for other dictators too, once describing Parkistan’s General Musharraf as “upright sort”. Far from a consistent democrat, after the 1999 coup brought Musharraf to power, Galloway told The Mail on Sunday that “Only the armed forces can really be counted on to hold such a country together… Democracy is a means, not an end in itself and it has a bad name on the streets of Karachi and Lahore.”

Galloway’s Christian beliefs have influenced his views on abortion and stem cell research. He doesn’t believe in evolution. In The Independent on Sunday in 2004 Galloway said “I’m strongly against abortion. I believe life begins at conception, and therefore unborn babies have rights. I think abortion is immoral”. He was absent from all votes on the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill (which included attempts to reduce the abortion time limit in the UK). His notable absenteeism extends to many LGBT issues and euthanasia. Then again, Galloway always had fairly lamentable levels of parliamentary participation. As a Respect MP, Galloway only participated in 98 out of 1288 votes. In 2006, he claimed more expenses than any other backbench MP in parliament.

Galloway’s egoism has always been astounding. While most socialists consider it standard for workers’ representatives to be elected on a workers’ wage (not an impoverishing amount, but the salary of a skilled worker), Galloway has declared he couldn’t possibly live on “three workers’ wages”. And what else other than pure vanity can have driven an appearance on Big Brother, which discredited whole sections of the left? Finally, it’s worth remembering that Respect’s own councillors in Tower Hamlets have voted through cuts to public services.

We call on socialists to offer no support for Galloway’s election campaign.

Moshé Machover (Israeli socialist) – Torab Saleth (Workers Left Unity – Iran) – Mehdi Kia (Co-Editor Middle East Left Forum) – Charlie Pottins (Unite and HOPI Steering Committee) – Rosie Kane (Scottish Socialist Party) – Nima Kisomi (Iranian socialist) – Sahar G (Iranian socialist) – Suran Badfar (Iranian Socialist) – Vicky Thompson (HOPI) – Tami Peterson (National Union of Students LGBT Committee, Bi Rep ’09-’11) – David Broder (Commune) – Steve Ryan (Commune) – Barry Biddulph (Commune) – Sinead Rylance (Communist Students) – Ustun Yazar (Communist Students) – Reyhaneh Sadegzadeh (Communist Students) – Alex Allan (Communist Students) – James O’Leary (Communist Students) – Sebastian Osthoff (Communist Students) – Komsan Duke (Anarchist Federation) – William J Martin (Batley and Spen CLP) – Elsie Wraight (Manchester Labour Students) – Rachael Howe (Love Leveshulme Hate Cuts Campaign) – Karen Broady (Unison) – Ste Monaghan (GMB) – Edd Mustill (NUJ) – Dan Read (NUJ) – Pete Cookson (NUT) – Joe Broady (BECTU) – Raphie De Santos (The left banker) – Andrew Coates (Socialist blogger) – Michael Leversha (Student activist) – Beth Marshall (Student activist) – Nima Barazandeh (Student activist) – Democratic Socialist Alliance (organisation)

I am so sick of the Royal Wedding. Honestly, I’d emigrate if I had the money. Also, it’s hard to know where exactly is safe. If one billion tragic fools are going to be watching this wedding, then they must be everywhere. The world is littered with commemorative mugs, tea towels and “Royal Jewels” condoms. The Independent, my favourite newspaper, has reverted to stories about jelly beans shaped like Kate Middleton. Or with Kate Middleton’s face. Or something like that.

The BBC, that bastion of British impartiality (ha ha) is avoiding republicans like the plague. We’re 20% of the population, but honestly, right now we don’t exist.

Anyway, at least the North is more or less safe. While London had 800 street party requests – although curiously enough, none for Barking and Dagenham – my beloved Manchester received only 13 applications. It’s even better in Liverpool, where only 4 oddballs feel the need to organise parties to celebrate the wedding of two people they’ve never met.

This Royal Wedding has received about £80 million in taxpayers’ money. That’s interesting because the royals weren’t elected – OK, the government wasn’t either, but everything’s relative – and neither the Tories nor the Lib Dems had squandering tens of million of pounds on the wedding of multi-millionaires whilst simultaneously pursuing one of the greatest programmes of austerity cuts in this country’s history in their manifestos. I didn’t vote for this. You didn’t vote for this. No one voted for this.

Curmudgeonly rant over. I actually have a point. If you want to go to a Royal Wedding street party or buy a souvenir tea towel, go ahead. You’re an idiot, but I wish you all the best.

My point is this: the cleaners in the Royal Household are paid £6.45/hr. That’s £1.45 below the London living wage. It’s £1.45 below the rate paid to cleaners in the House of Commons. We pay for the Royal Family, just like we pay for the House of Commons, and yet their cleaners are consigned to a life of penury. There’s millions of pounds spent on a wedding which at least half the country doesn’t give a flying fuck about, and the Royal Household cleaners earn £6.45.

Click here to sign the petition.

It’s a bit of a surprise to see Galloway and the SWP reunited. After all, they have had a bit of a tumultuous relationship in the past. Just to cement my status as a grumpy spoilsport, I thought I’d remind you of all the lovely they’ve said about each other in the past…

“These lunatics, anarchists and other extremists principally from the Socialist Workers Party were out for a rumble the whole time.” – Galloway in 1990.

“There should be a big health warning from any statement coming out from George Galloway.” – Martin Smith SWP CC, October 2007

The SWP is “a group that meets in secret” and uses “Russian doll methods”. – George Galloway in an emergency Tower Hamlets meeting, October 2007.

“Fuck off, the lot of you.” - George Galloway to SWP members at a 2007 Tower Hamlets meeting.

“The single biggest pressure that has produced this development is electoralism… Instead of patiently working to create roots and campaigns in local communities, Galloway has looked for shortcuts….” - Martin Smith, December 2007

“Galloway never once acknowledged the damage he did. On the contrary, in the months after the fiasco he began to use his “celebrity” to build a career as a radio talkshow host… Meanwhile he had achieved the dubious record of being the fifth highest earning MP, after the former ministers William Hague, David Blunkett, and Ann Widdecombe, and the Tory columnist and candidate for Mayor of London, Boris Johnson. Some tribune of the people!” –  Chris Harman (SWP CC) December 2007

To give you an idea of the size of the demonstration, I reached Hyde Park for the closing rally around 1pm. Throughout the rally, protesters were trickling into the park and by 2pm – after the big name speakers had finished – some were still starting the 3 mile march. Many of the 600+ coaches arriving in London were stopped at Wembley, making it difficult for non-Londoners to get into the city center.

The demonstration was truly huge; it’s difficult to guess how many marched, but I consider half a million a fairly conservative estimate. The atmosphere was almost carnival and the left practically non-existent, swamped in a protest of this size. UNISON was by far the largest contingent, but both teachers’ unions, the UCU, the FBU and the RMT also looked strong.

The usual suspects doled out the usual platitudes in the closing rally. I’m not comfortable listening to men with salaries of 100k or more damning the rich and I can’t say that Ed Milliband (probably mentioned it before, but this man has had a charisma bypass) was anything other than dull. He accused the Con-Dem government of a “poverty of aspiration”, which seems to miss the point that the austerity cuts are not due to lack of imagination or ambition, but are a concerted act of class war from those who despise the historic gains of working people.

I didn’t witness the destruction of shops or the Ritz. While the students’ attack on Millbank back in November was a legitimate mass action, I don’t feel it’s helpful for small groups to take isolated action that detracts from the significance of so many people taking to the street. Already the media coverage is ignoring the acts of 500,000 in favour of the acts of 500.

Right now a couple of hundred protesters are still in Traflagar, unsuccessfully emulating Tahrir Square.

Activists from USDAW and the NUT gather on the embankment

The RMT - Workers of the World Unite

Gideon Scissor Hands

Egypt - Wisconsin - Ireland - Greece - Spain - UK: No to cuts, no to austerity

Italian Trade Union, CGIL

A march of the "mainstream middle" according to Ed Milliband

The Royal College of Midwives with baby balloons

Global Women's Strike and the English Collective of Prostitutes

Outside Manchester University's Students' Union

Around 4000 students and workers protested against the education and public sector austerity cuts in Manchester today. The demonstration was raucous, vibrant and – above all – lacking in direction. Originally intended as a rally for young workers, the demonstration evolved into a national march called by NUS and the TUC after NUS refused to back a demonstration scheduled in London for the same date, labelling it as “the wrong tactic at the wrong time”.

The scheduled route was straight along Oxford and Wilmslow road to a rally in Platt Fields Park in South Manchester. Quite what use a march away from the city centre towards a quiet park is supposed to be, I’m not sure. Neither were the protesters chanting “why are we standing in a field?” during the closing rally.

Plenty of Trade Union banners on the march

There was a good Trade Union presence on the demonstration, including UNISON, the UCU, Unite, the NUT, the PCS and NASUWT. The organised left was represented by the usual suspects, as well as the smallest and strangest of the left-wing groups: the Communist League, the WRP, the SPGB, the SEP and even the Sparticist League. There were plenty of school and college students, mainly protesting about the scrapping of Education Maintenance Allowance (EMA), the cuts to Connexions and the hiking of University fees. A group of young people dressed as clowns also appeared, unintentionally discrediting a serious political protest.

Young people marching past a student halls of residence

One recurring theme of the demonstration was the growing anti-government resistance in the Middle East and North Africa, with placards bearing the words Walk Like An Egyptian or solidarity messages in Arabic. There were also Egyptian flags flying alongside communist, syndicalist and -bizarrely – pirate flags.

Shortly after rallying outside the University of Manchester’s School of Nursing, NUS President Aaron Porter was accosted by angry students. He left, but was followed down Oxford Road by a break-away group of around 400 demonstrators shouting “students, workers, hear our shout! We want Aaron Porter out!” and “Aaron Porter we know you, you’re a fucking Tory too!” After being stopped by police, the break-away group rejoined the main demonstration. Porter did not return.

The Daily Mail labelled the incident a “vicious racist attack”, after one anonymous (possibly non-existent) photographer reported that students were chanting “Tory Jew scum” at Porter. The Daily Mail reports that Porter was driven to his office in the University of Manchester Students’ Union (he didn’t have one when I worked there), when in fact it was the foyer of Manchester Metropolitan Union. It’s not like the middle classes’ hate rag cares much for factual accuracy. Besides, it’s no wonder that the Daily Mail likes Aaron Porter. He helps keep the students’ movement soft and spineless.

“You’re a Tory too” sounds awfully like “you’re a Tory Jew”. I was there and didn’t witness any anti-Semitism. I have also scoured the video footage for the same.

The front of the demonstration

The march down Oxford Road was lively and peaceful, with demonstrators chanting “Egypt, Egypt, everywhere”, “Tory scum, here we come!”, “Banks get bailed out, we get sold out!” and “David Cameron can’t you see, we’ll bring you down like Ben Ali”. There was excessive policing, with a helicopter overhead and police horses. Frustratingly, UNISON members marched with vuvuzelas. There’s not always enough money for strike funds, but plenty for gimmicks it seems.

One of many Egyptian flags

In Platt Fields Park

The rally at Platt Fields Park was interminably dull, with the usual succession of Trade Union bureaucrats informing the listeners that cuts are bad. There were representatives from the TUC, NUS, UCU, the Fire Brigades’ Union and the British Youth Council (met, rather unsurprisingly, with shouts of “Who are you?”).  Only Manchester’s Labour MP, Tony Lloyd, was local and there had been no attempts made to invite local anti-cuts groups, workers or students to speak. Tony Lloyd is a relatively good MP – the emphasis on the relative – but he didn’t go down well, narrowly dodging an egg thrown from the crowd. Unite’s General Secretary, Len McCluskey, was due to speak but failed to make it to the rally.

Aaron Porter chose to forgo his speech at the rally, with Shane Chowen, NUS Vice President for Higher Education, taking his place. He was forced off the stage before finishing, unable to speak above the heckling.

During the speeches, several hundred protesters formed the second break-away demonstration of the day, heading to the city centre. It’s unfortunate that it had to happen like this. The march should have gone through the city centre in the first place and rallied in full view of the public, rather than in an almost-deserted park. The excessive length of the rally coupled with the cold January air decimated the rest of the demonstration. The final speaker, UCU’s Sally Hunt, addressed only a couple of hundred people.

Why the Anger at NUS?

The NUS red fist, irony not included

It’s not news to students that NUS isn’t a real Union: in fact, many see it was far more of a playground for future politicians than a protector of students’ interests. It’s also worth remembering that despite it’s name, NUS isn’t even supposed to be a union of students at all. It’s a confederation of Students’ Unions. You can’t really be a member of NUS, only a member of an affiliated Students’ Union. For most students, its only relevance is providing a student discount card (formerly free, now charged for). The NUS doesn’t even support free education.

Aaron Porter isn’t a student now. He hasn’t been a student for over four years. He wasn’t even one of the students affected by Labour’s introduction of top-up fees. Porter isn’t President of the NUS because  he cares about students- he’s in it to be the next big thing in the Labour Party (despite standing as an “independent” in elections, Porter is a member). It’s a well-trodden path. Jack Straw, Charles Clarke, Phil Woolas, Stephen Twigg, Lorna Fitzsimmons and Jim Murphy were all NUS Presidents who went on to become Labour MPs. The previous NUS President, Wes Streeting, gave up his consultancy job at PricewaterhouseCoopers  to become a Labour Councillor last year.

Porter’s response to criticism by students and left groups was published in The Guardian. Porter wrote: ”While I am certain that those who wrote the pieces care passionately about these issues, they represent few people other than themselves”, before labelling his critics an “unrepresentative, self-aggrandising minority, in pursuit of their own fringe agendas”. Not exactly a way to make friends.

Aaron Porter is also the co-author of the NUS “blueprint”, a graduate tax proposal that was supposed to present a viable alternative to student fees. Unfortunately, Porter’s proposed tax wasn’t proportionate. The poor graduates would pay a much higher percentage of their wages than the rich. Not to mention the over-45s who would be required to pay a percentage of their fees up front.

Aaron Porter shouldn’t fear for his physical safety on a student demonstration- but he shouldn’t feel welcome either. Inspired by the popular uprisings in Egypt and Tunisia, plenty of young people have grown tired of self-serving bureaucrats and careerists, more interested in selling a discount card than representing students’ interests.

For the past year, I’ve been hatching plans to leave, but somehow this city just won’t let me go.

Where I live, the streets aren’t clean. I imagine they don’t have this problem in Alderley Edge, but it’s certainly the case round here. I don’t want less council services; I want more and I want them better, because at the minute my council tax isn’t a tax. It’s extortion.

Manchester City Council is facing cuts of £120 million. Councils in the North West, North East, Midlands and inner city London, the country’s traditional working class strongholds, are facing the same brutal budget cuts. And guess what? The more affluent councils are not being hit the same. Dorset is seeing its budget increase. David Cameron’s own Oxfordshire, where the average salary is almost £7000 more than it is in Manchester, is faring far better. This is redistribution of wealth, no doubt- but it’s going the wrong way.

What do Oldham, Rochdale, Blackburn, St Helens, Manchester, Salford, Middlesbrough, Doncaster, Sheffield, Hull, Nottingham, Southwark, Tower Hamlets, Newham and Hackney have in common? They’re all impoverished, yes, but they’re also areas where Labour has high levels of popular support. This is where the government is cutting the hardest; this is a collective punishment being dealt out for the sins of the ballot box.

The Tories relish the thought of Labour delivering these blows.

In Manchester, the Labour Council are rising to it. They’ve been spending too much on “Twitter Tsars” and pricey statues and now they’re planning to axe 2000 jobs, under the pretence that it’s the only way.

There are 383 employees of Manchester City Council earning at least £50,000. Let’s say that all of those 383 employees are earning precisely 50K. Well that’s over nineteen million pounds. Of course, they’re not all earning 50K. Some of them are earning 100. Some 200. Heck, the Chief Executive of Manchester Council, Howard Bernstein, earns £232,ooo. The median salary in the UK is £2o,801. Does Bernstein work hard? Probably. Does he work 11.2 x harder than Mr/Ms Average? I doubt it. As for Richard Leese, Chair of the Council… Well, I don’t know how much he earns. My very best googling cannot persuade the internet to divulge this information. However, I do know that he earns £100,000 more than a certain Mr. Cameron. He’s netting somewhere in the region of £250K.

With 2000 job losses to come, it’s an obscenity.

2. Two ugly blobs with taxis on their heads (supposedly) were revealed as the mascots for that colossal waste of money, the Olympics.

3. Speaking of expensive things that I don’t want, Prince Charles defied the year of austerity, spending £14,756 of taxpayers’ money on an essential day trip from London to the Lake District to attend the launch of the Red Squirrel Survival Trust. Bargain!

4. Iran was elected onto the UN Commission on the Status of Women. And in other news, they just put me in charge of the Institute for Fiscal Studies. No, seriously.

5. Meanwhile, the Met Office should keep an eye out tonight. You see, I’m typing this in a partial state of undress (you’ll never know if I’m bluffing), so there might be some earth quakes tonight. This is, of course, according to the impeccable reasoning of an Iranian cleric.

6. The Liberal Democrats entered talks with the brains behind the Oxford English Dictionary. Apparently, they want to change the entry for the word “pledge”.

7. Ed Miliband, a man more politically pasty than red, earned the nickname “Red Ed”. Don’t ask me. I always thought Iraq, ID cards and financial support from multi-millionaire hedge fund bosses weren’t the hallmarks of us dirty reds.

8. Michael Gove became the poster boy for incompetency when he published not one, not two, not three, but FOUR incorrect lists of the schools that would be getting refurbished.

9. Mark Reckless MP (no joke: that’s his actual name) was too drunk to vote on the new budget. Sheryll Murray MP and John Randall, the deputy chief whip, were also the worse for wear. And there was a fight.

10. Across the Pond, Republican candidate Christine O’Donnell declared that she’s really not a witch, although she has sat on a “satanic alter”.

11. After his visit to the UK, the Pope decreed that it was sorta kinda maybe ok-ish to use a condom. Perhaps. If you’re a male prostitute. Or something like that.

12. Proving that Capitalists can be a touch economically challenged, the funding for the UK Film Council was scrapped. The Film Council makes £5 for every £1 it invests.

13. Zac Goldsmith made a proper arse of himself.

14. Lembit Opik lost his parliamentary seat and became a stand-up comedian. One of his jokes involves talking to his shoe: “How do you think it’s going, Mr. Shoe?” Badly, Mr. Opik.

15. Nick Griffin, another huge loser in the General Election, “updated” one of the most famous warnings against fascism in a public email: “First they came for the Nationalists, and I did not speak out, because I was not a Nationalist. Then they came for the patriots, and I did not speak out, because I was not a patriot…” wrote Griffin, who has been scribbling in the margins of Mein Kampf since the tender age of thirteen.

16. Vivienne Westwood created the most sensationally tasteless fashion collection since she dressed models up in Guantanamo-esque boiler suits. The runway collection was modelled on the homeless.

17. The German Communist Party purchased pens as presents for children. Unfortunately for them, the pens turned out to be pornographic and if there’s one action that doesn’t lead to good PR, it’s distributing porn to kids.

18. Politicians told a few fibs. What’s new?

“We have absolutely no plans to raise VAT.” – David Cameron

“We have set out our plans and they do not involve an increase in VAT.” – George Osborne

“We will not have to raise VAT to deliver our promises. The Conservatives will. Let me repeat that: Our plans do not require a rise in VAT.” – Nick Clegg

19. George Galloway announced he was making a musical of Dusty Springfield. I looked it up, just to check I wasn’t dreaming. Personally, I’m surprised he even has the time to dream up a musical, what with his hard work promoting M&S knickers.

20. An octopus named Paul predicted the World Cup results. He spawned a host of imitators, including a group of psychic pandas, an Argentinian dolphin and a cat who can see death approaching…

The first is Roger Carr, the man who brokered the Kraft takeover of the quintessentially English firm Cadbury’s, thus angering both the right and left press in one fell swoop. Even though Kraft was announcing quarterly profits in excess of $700 million, the Cadbury workers (the ones who didn’t lose their jobs) were still faced with the choice of a 3 year pay freeze or opting out of the firm’s final salary pension scheme.

Carr is also the Chairman of Centrica, which owns British Gas. British Gas are hiking gas prizes, despite announcing profits of over £2bn.

Martin Broughton is the Chairman of British Airways (BA). BA is currently in dispute with cabin crew staff and the Unite Union over the axing of 1700 jobs, a 2 year pay freeze and the introduction of a second tier of staff with worse contacts and lower wages.

Happy New Year!